To the Fat German Man Behind the Desk

Dear Fat German Man,

Why do you have to make my life and my time in Germany so complicated? All I wanted from you was for you to sign my forms and give me a German visa! I made an appointment on your stupid bureaucratic website, I trekked all the way over to the other side of town, and I had all of my documents that you asked for. Instead, you tell me that my health insurance letter certifying that I have American health insurance that covers me in Germany is not enough, you tell me that I need to have more proof that I am enrolled in a German university, and you tell me that I need more money in my German bank account. Lets just go down this laundry list of items to express how I truly feel.

First, the letter that I have from a German public health insurance firm should most definitely be enough to prove that I have adequate health insurance. You gave me a form that I'm supposed to fill out according to you asking all of these questions about my supposed health insurance even though right on the first page in bold letters it says that a letter from a health insurance provider will suffice! WTF! Can you not even read the exact documents that you hand out?! Are you that lazy and so bored with your job that you don't even take the time to see what it says on the very first page of what you're handing me?

Second, why would you say that two letters that state I am enrolled/accepted into two universities not be enough proof that I am a student? Just because the semester has yet to begin does not mean that I am pretending to be a student in the near future. I am clearly a student now, I am working to become enrolled into the German university here and therefore I am not lying to you about being a student!

Third, these requirements for a German bank account are just ridiculous and you know it. I understand you don't want anyone living in your country that cannot support himself or herself. Well considering that I brought you a bank statement that clearly states that I have plenty of money in my account, you decided this was not enough. I told you that I was waiting to receive my German bank card, but that I had opened it, but no, still not enough. Instead you tell me that I have to come back and show that I have 7800 Euros in my German bank account at my next appointment?! Are you serious? That is over $10,000! I definitely don't have that kind of money and I don't know of many students that do have that kind of money right now. When I was here two years ago there was never any mention of needing to have a certain amount of money in my bank account and honestly, most of the time I had nothing in my German bank account. WHAT IN THE WORLD HAS CHANGED NOW?!

You sir, have truly added more unnecessary stress to my life and instead of giving me my visa, you are making me come back in a month at 8am to try this again. I can only hope that I will never have to see you again and that I will actually get someone who works there that has a real brain and isn't a complete idiot. You should realize how lucky you are that I don't know how to really yell in German like I would if I could talk to you in English.

You really suck!

Emily